Intrusive Or Insightful?

By Clara Farres

In moments where you can’t seem to get out of your own head, or where you begin to spiral with negative and unrealistic beliefs, you might benefit from taking a mental break to self-reflect. Intrusive thoughts, the catalysts for false negative beliefs, can be disturbing and uncomfortable. These thoughts bring your mood down, and they’re easy to believe. While such thoughts are bothersome, they aren’t harmful unless you engage with them.  

The following is easier said than done, but it’s possible to unpack these thoughts by recognizing the damaging and unhealthy habits which are involved in your self-sabotaging behaviors. For example, maybe you find yourself feeling hurt and alone often when you feel someone pull away (even if this occurs because they’re busy). In analyzing further, you realize the reason you feel this way is due to your own self-isolation when you feel hurt. You may assume that people purposely pull away from you specifically rather than assuming they might be busy.  

 Sometimes, you receive mixed signals from your brain as a result of certain underlying emotions such as fear. Since intrusive thoughts lead to self-sabotaging behaviors, you need to prevent intrusive thoughts from taking over. Brianna Wiest wrote a book called “The Mountain Is You” in which she defines intrusive thoughts as “calm, rational and logical.” She describes intrusive thoughts as the drivers for negative spirals, overthinking, and remaining stuck in your head instead of listening to your gut. They are different from your typical thoughts: they could be uncharacteristically negative or degrading. They could be about a situation that you, rationally, know is unlikely to arise. If it’s something you want to push out of your mind, but find it reoccurring, it’s likely to be intrusive. 

Understanding the difference between what these thoughts are, where they stem from, and how they feel is a powerful tool for developing an understanding of yourself. In recognizing this pattern, you are able to build insights and enhance your emotional intelligence. Instead of fighting these intrusive thoughts, it’s much more beneficial to learn to control them.