Being Your Own Best Friend
By Nicole Gromadzki
At the start of a new semester, we can all relate to feeling excited at the prospect of making unforgettable new memories with your best friends. Nonstop sleepovers. Fun every weekend. And don’t get me wrong, there are so many things to be excited about; but I will say right now that these hopes can be unrealistic, and can have us comparing our own realities to other people’s portrayals of their lives on Instagram.
So much time in college is spent by yourself, and that’s an uncomfortable fact for many. But it’s true, so why do we not talk about it? I wish I could tell my freshman-year self that there is no shame in eating alone at Cova, nothing wrong with studying alone at the Oreo, and no problem with not finding your best friends off the bat. Just because you spend time alone does not have to mean you’re lonely. Yet, this is way easier said than done. FOMO is way too real, especially when you’re surrounded by people who seem to be having more fun. But that’s the thing: we all have these feelings, that we should be having more fun or spending time with friends. Really though, at the end of the day, all you have is yourself and it’s a wonderful thing to be comfortable enough to be your own best friend. There is such value in quality alone time.
It’s something that I’ve really learned these past 2 years, prompted by the pandemic and social isolation especially. At first, quarantine felt crushing and lonely for all of us, but I discovered joy and comfort in the little things. And since then, I’ve really tried to keep in touch with that mindset of appreciating the little things while being at college. There is so much potential for growth when you accept the reality that being alone isn’t loneliness, and it can actually be empowering to feel comfortable by yourself. How do you get to that point though? For one, discovering a new hobby or interest - like reading, yoga or fitness, or even filling your alone time by getting way too into reality tv like me (highly recommend Love Island UK season 3). Finding an activity that you can keep coming back to and that makes you feel good is key. Some things that I’ve recently gotten into include beaded jewelry making, reading books, going on long walks, and learning more about mindfulness. Along with finding fun hobbies, I think a routine that promotes wellness is super important. That means scheduling time for balanced meals, moving your body in a way that feels good to you, and prioritizing what is most important to you so that you are being both productive and kind to yourself.
Something that’s important to remember through all of this though is that every single person on this campus has been alone, so nobody is judging you. It’s key to remember that people, shows, movies, social media, etc. hype up college so much and give you a half-realistic image of it, never once mentioning the boring in-between moments in your day to day. Reaching out to a loved one from home, whether it’s a friend or family member, can significantly help you feel not lonely if you ever are alone and don’t know what to do. Going on a walk or run is great as well because incorporating physical activity into your routine also does wonders for your mental health. And lastly, I want to emphasize how lovely a self-date can be, and that can be any sort of outing - whether it be to a coffee shop, bookstore, or hanging at the park - with you and only you. Self dates are powerful tools for self-growth and learning how to have fun alone; plus, it’s just fun to experience new things and make memories.
So in summary, go discover a new hobby. Put in those earbuds while you eat alone and listen to a podcast (honorable mention to “Anything Goes” with Emma Chamberlain - she has episodes talking about this very topic), practice some daily gratitude, or get yourself organized with a schedule for the week. Get involved with something on campus. Visit that cute cafe on your own. Challenge yourself to grow. Your future self will thank you.
