Finding Your Support System

By: Alyssa Dalton

Even the strongest among us are fragile at times. In those moments of vulnerability, how do we pick ourselves up and move forward? How do we grow from the adversity we face? Well, people don’t call it ‘an uphill battle’ because it is easy. It begins with having a strong support system to help you reach that summit - that moment when it finally feels like I can do this or the worst is almost over.

When I am faced with a new personal mountain to climb, it becomes difficult at times to see that summit. This past year has been one of the steepest ‘climbs’ of my life. For a long time, I struggled in silence, scared that people would look at me differently for being open about what I was struggling with. But holding it all in left me feeling alone and unbalanced.

Certain ideas or attitudes tell us that being vulnerable or asking for help make us weak - whether it’s from our families, our friends, our teammates. I have come to learn that having the strength to ask for help, to speak up and say, “I’m struggling” is what shows true strength.

For some people, it can be easier to open up with strangers than the people we are closest with. It wasn’t until I ended up crying on my professor’s couch last semester during office hours, after simply asking where the printer was, that I knew I needed more support. It was on that couch that I finally felt a sense of relief, as if this thing that was weighing on me was lifted. After that conversation with my professor, I confided in those closest to me. Truthfully, not all of those relationships gave me the support I needed. That feeling of rejection made me feel like I didn’t deserve support, that it was somehow selfish of me to ask for it. It was through that experience that I learned not everyone is capable of giving us what we may need, but that does not mean you are not deserving of it. When you acknowledge the people who can’t support you, you are one step closer to finding the people that can.

I knew I found my support system when I heard the words, “I’m here for you.” When I had people checking in with me to see how I was doing. It was when the little things became the big things in my life. Finally the summit I had been desperately trying to reach appeared closer and closer, until I finally stood at a point where I knew I could do it.

I urge anyone who feels alone, overwhelmed, or can’t seem to view their ‘summit’ to find someone to talk to: a professor, a friend, a family member, or a counselor. The Villanova Counseling Center is a great resource for all students and it’s free, on-campus (located across from the Bartley Exchange), and confidential.

Villanova University Counseling Center: +1 (610)-519-4050