The Importance of Family in College

By Jane Ohlmuller

As a sophomore, I assumed I would be more prepared to go back to college. I expected to quickly develop a routine and prioritize myself, something I did not do at the beginning of my freshman year. However, this did not happen. I went back to my over-involved freshman ways of thinking I can be everywhere at all times. I got caught up with the excitement of seeing my old friends and meeting new ones. I placed getting coffee with friends or going to dinner over what really matters: my health, family, and education. 

For the first two weeks, it was great and I thought I could balance all that was on my plate. However, I slowly but surely became more tired and less energetic. I was unable to make all these exciting plans I made, and even worse, I could no longer keep up with my schoolwork. I started to lose myself as I no longer was the girl who said hi to everyone on campus with a smile on her face. I was constantly down and never felt good about myself. These changes hurt my confidence. I felt as if everyone else around me was able to keep up with the chaos of college and that I had failed. I started comparing myself to others and further lost myself. I read somewhere that it takes somewhere between twenty-one to twenty-eight days to develop a habit, so I knew something needed to change or else this lifestyle of mine would become a habit.

Along with my lack of motivation towards schoolwork, I stopped taking time to talk to my family. Growing up, I was fortunate enough to have my mother stay home with my brothers and me. Because of this, we were as close as could be. My twin, younger brother, and I would spend all day together embarking on new adventures. My brothers shaped who I am whether it was through laughing with me when I made a mistake or simply being someone to talk to when I felt alone. They grounded me when I was acting like the only person in the world, but also lifted me up when I felt alone. Talking to them less and less as I emerged myself more and more in college life contributed to me losing myself. 

Luckily as I realized I needed to change my lifestyle, Parents’ Weekend arrived. I was able to see my whole family, and I was so excited. Little did I know just how meaningful this weekend would be. We laughed and shared stories over dinner, which reminded me of who I am. Talking to my mom, she reassured me that everything was okay, that I was supposed to grow and change during college. She explained that I needed to keep a positive attitude, and everything would work out. Hearing this resonated with me at a time when I needed to hear it most, and I have used it ever since.

As long as you stay true to yourself and your morals, change is a good thing. College is a time to grow, and that may look different from what we are used to. I spend more time with others, and although it is overwhelming, I am learning how to better interact with others while balancing my other responsibilities. This may be daunting, but it is so exhilarating to have the power to find activities that I want to do and I want to enjoy. I use the lessons and values my family taught me to find new things to help me grow in this time of transition. I needed to talk to my family to remind me that I am okay and I will be okay if I stay true to who I am. 

With that, I encourage you to talk to someone important in your life and who has contributed to who you are today. They have seen you at your best and your worst, and they know who you really are. Sometimes the simplest pieces of advice from a loved one can go a long way, just as my mom's advice did for me. We are all going through this crazy life, and sometimes we just need to talk to someone to help us get through it, so don't be scared to call a loved one!