The Grass is Always Greener
By Megan Hudson
Comparing yourself to loved ones is an element of human nature. As a twin sister, I am all too familiar with judging yourself against those who are close to me . I would always agonize over how much fun my sister was having in college. I would frequently fret over what she is doing on a Friday night while I was home alone, or stress over how her relationship is going, and speculate if her grades are good. I always worried myself with the thought what does she have that I don’t?
Comparing is a bad habit we can all admit to exercising, perhaps obsessively at times. We tend to believe, without much critical thought or questioning of the beliefs that we hold, that the grass is always greener. We believe that somewhere on the other side, someone has it better than we do. These thoughts creep in even when we are satisfied with what we have ourselves. Believing that the grass is always greener is a thief of joy. It robs us of gratitude, and it encourages us to form thought processes that completely neglect a positive perspective. If we are to be realistic, then it is true that someone, somewhere, probably does have it better than we do. However, we often forget to consider that perhaps, we ourselves are on that greener patch of grass.
I am a frequent victim of this negative way of reasoning. My twin sister and I took very different career paths when we parted ways for college. At Fordham University, my sister studies finance, while I study communications at Villanova. While her track for business studies required her to begin the networking process the second she arrived on campus, I found that internships were not a worry of mine until my sophomore year. When my sister scored her first paid internship in New York City, I hadn’t even begun my search for one. Before even asking my sister her feelings regarding the exciting news, I built a wall of resentment. How could I be so far behind? Was I not working hard enough?
I facetimed my sister the following day. My congratulations, to my surprise, were met with her concern. Instead of sharing the delight of securing an internship, my sister was struck with nerves and envy. She confessed that she was envious of the open-ended options of my own search, as she admitted she felt stuck within a small area. I realized, after a long back-and-forth banter with my sister about college professionalism and the pressures of getting a head start, that comparing others’ successes with your own is hardly ever productive. I had assumed that my sister was entirely excited by the internship opportunity—but in reality, my “grass”, to her, was greener. I hung up the phone excited to continue my search for interests and discover where they take me, rather than being upset that I had not landed on anything in particular yet. Even when you think you’re “behind,” someone else could be watching you, wishing they too could be “ahead.”
Let this story be a lesson that gratitude, in some capacity, for our circumstances is a necessity. It is okay to feel like we have more to give and more to achieve—but we must also give thanks and recognition for the things we have already earned. We can never have it all, but it’s much more likely than you think that someone, somewhere, thinks that you already do.
