Surviving Halloween

By Jane Ohlmuller

CW: Discussion of eating disorders

Halloween can be scary for many reasons. Maybe you don’t like clowns, ghosts, or zombies; but for me, it was being surrounded by all the treats. Trick or treating was always fun and exciting until I developed my eating disorder. Halloween turned from a time of joy to constantly worrying about how much candy I was going to let myself eat in the blink of an eye. Halloween would involve me either restricting myself and not eating any candy, or the polar opposite: binging and eating anything in sight. This cycle was not healthy and left me feeling guilty, upset, and confused. I left myself questioning, why couldn’t I just let myself enjoy candy without all these negative feelings? It took me a while to answer this question and I am still learning, but I want to offer tips on how I have been overcoming my relationship with not only candy, but all foods. Everyone is different, so I am not prescribing this to anyone in particular; I just want to spread awareness and let you know that you are not alone. 

First, I needed to realize that food is needed to survive. This may seem so simple, but living with an eating disorder, sometimes this wasn’t always clear. I accepted that I had to use food to nourish myself. I learned to do so by intuitively eating. This meant eating when I was hungry, not restricting myself for hours on end to then binging. Something that really helped me with this was developing daily routines and sticking to them. These routines made sure I was staying busy and making sure I was eating in my free time as I would often be very hungry from all my activities. 

Second, I started exercising. I understand this may be difficult especially for college students as they have such busy schedules, but it seriously did help fix my relationship with food. Studies have shown that exercise has many benefits such as stress reduction, better sleep at night, and clearer thoughts. Through releasing endorphins during exercise, one can be relieved of stress and pain. Developing an exercise routine helped me clear my thoughts and relieve myself of the anxieties I had regarding food. It can be as simple as a walk a day or maybe some yoga, just anything to move your body! 

Lastly, I talked to my mom every day about how I was feeling. For me, talking to someone and just letting out all of my emotions helped with my eating disorder. I did not even need to talk about food necessarily, but just telling my mom about my day and how I was feeling helped let go of any anxieties that may have contributed to my eating disorder. So, if you ever need to talk to anyone I am always here for you! I know it is easier said than done, but please enjoy Halloween and remember if you are ever feeling scared for something other than clowns, ghosts, or zombies I’m here for you!