Dear Freshman Year Me,
By Molly Mook
I’ve been in college for a little over two years at this point, and I feel that my time at Villanova so far has led me to grow into a much more secure and confident person than I’ve ever been before. But it wasn’t an easy ride. I have gained a lot more perspective, and there are certain pieces of knowledge I now hold that I wish my freshman year self could have realized.
The transition to college is a tough one. When I was in the thick of the adjustment period, I thought I was the only individual having a very hard time. I felt like I wasn’t smart enough to be at Villanova, like I didn’t have true friends and would never find any, like I didn’t belong. I couldn’t imagine this campus and community ever feeling like home. I felt like my college experience was not as “good” as my home friends’, or even my Villanova peers’. I believed everyone was thriving except for me.
The reality is, though, that everything I wrote above are normal feelings and thoughts for someone adjusting to college. Everyone is feeling this way, but no one is saying it out loud.
Today I want to share some words of wisdom and encouragement that I wish my freshman year self had known when I was really going through it:
It’s okay if you feel like you don’t have a friend group or that you’re not happy with your friends. Many people settle with whoever is convenient to them in the first few months of college because that’s what’s easy. Eventually though, groups will shift and change, and the “convenient friendships” will fall apart. Keep putting yourself out there, saying hi, inviting people to hangout, and fostering the relationships that make you feel your best. It’s not too late. Don’t get discouraged. You have so much time. Your good friends will come.
You will thank yourself later for getting involved and trying new things. Sign up for clubs that interest you, attend meetings, and learn about different opportunities. The people you’ll connect with and the things you’ll do through this are what will begin to make college feel like home.
Please do not place so much value and trust in social media. Instagram leads you into the comparison trap. You will be consumed with how much fun your high school best friend is having at their new school and how amazing your Villanova classmate’s “new college bffs” are. Everyone wants to make it look like they’re having the time of their lives. Don’t compare your reality to someone’s carefully curated Instagram feed. Doing this is detrimental to your happiness.
You are smart and deserve to be here. Participate in class. Your voice matters and needs to be heard. Though it may seem like everyone else is smarter and more confident than you, nobody really knows what they’re doing. Further, you will learn and grow the most by speaking up, sharing your ideas, and failing.
You’re not alone. You’re not the only one who feels sad and lonely and confused and overwhelmed. Keep pushing because it will get better, and soon you will realize that everything you’re feeling right now is completely normal and all part of the process.
