Writer's Recommendation: Normal People
By Yaoyao Shi
I picked up Sally Rooney’s book Normal People and finished in one sitting, then I binge-watched the adaptation of the book on Hulu. At first, I thought it would be just another modern love story, but it turned out to be more than that. It’s a complicated, nonlinear love story between Connell and Marianne, following them from high school to college. The story takes place in Ireland. During high school, Connell’s mom worked at Marianne’s house in a small town. Connell was the popular guy who played football, while Marianne was the opinionated, sensitive, smart but quiet girl. However, after they went to college, their statuses flipped. Marianne became the popular girl while Connell struggled to fit in in Dublin. They dated, got hurt, parted, and got together again…
The story is really relatable to me. I could spot the insecurities of the main characters in myself and the people around me. Connell would feel embarrassed during high school if people found out that he dated Marianne, but during college, he looked up to Marianne and felt he could not fit in due to his socioeconomic class. In real life, we constantly set unattainable standards for ourselves based on societal expectations, and we feel bound by them. Because of those unattainable standards, we tend to judge ourselves, leading to insecurities. We care too much about what others think and ignore our own opinions. But it’s important to be true to ourselves and pursue what we love. In Normal People, if Connell and Marianne had let go of expectations and insecurities, they would not have experienced so many heartbroken moments or misunderstandings. If we follow our hearts, we do not need to overthink and we can be true to ourselves.
Normal People also demonstrated the importance of effective and honest communication. “That’s nice” and “that works” are two things that Connell and Marianne said a lot, although they might have felt sad or hurt. Just like Connell and Marianne, we tend to say nice things to the ones we care about, not voicing our feelings. We sometimes also expect people to correctly interpret our true thoughts. However, these behaviors always result in greater disappointments. If Marianne could tell Connell that she felt hurt when he did not invite her to the debs, they could have probably talked it out and Connell could have saved their relationship without hurting Marianne. I can remember so many moments in my life when miscommunication led to conflicts, sadness, and disappointments, all of which could have been avoided in the first place. I have realized how important it is to express our feelings to others, especially those we love. It can be difficult to say “I miss you” or “I love you,” but these can mean a lot to the ones we care about.
Another major turn in the book is when Connell became depressed when his high school friend Rob unexpectedly passed away. Connell felt guilty that he did not reply to Rob’s last message while Rob was still alive. During different life stages, we will meet new friends and might become too busy to keep in touch with old contacts. During high school, my school life became so different from that of my middle school best friend, and I forgot to reply and talk to her. Only after a long time, I realized that she was having a difficult time and I was not even there for her. But we can be proactive, making an effort to catch up with old friends and family members every once in a while. I cherish all of my relationships, and I don’t want to forget to be there for the people I love and care about.
Reading and watching Normal People really shed light on our daily lives for me. It made me reflect on my relationships and the expectations that we place on ourselves. I really recommend that you pick up this book or watch the series on Hulu, or both!
