Self-Care to Battle Disappointment
By Kaitlin Costarene
In life, we must take care of ourselves both physically and mentally. A lot of the time, taking care of ourselves leads to prosperity and success, but to say that anyone goes through life without adversity is untrue. It is during times of hardship that our self-care matters the most. I’ve recently discovered this for myself—that when I am tired or upset, my self-care is what makes me feel better. For all of us, the feeling of disappointment is a common one that requires a little extra self-love and self-care, both physically and mentally. Disappointment comes in many forms, whether it be disappointment in another person, in yourself, or in a situation. All of these require us to remind ourselves of our value and our purpose.
Disappointment in others is perhaps the strongest and most unpleasant form of disappointment, but it’s a part of life. Unfortunately, people will sometimes disappoint you, and if you cannot control the situation, you can control how you react to it. One of the most valued pieces of information I’ve received about disappointment is this: you cannot expect other people to treat you the way you would treat them. Holding people to high standards, perhaps the standards you hold yourself to, will often lead to disappointment. Expecting someone to do what you might do in a situation is unrealistic and unfair simply because they are not you. They think differently than you, so they will probably act differently than you. While it is important to maintain standards for someone that you may have chosen to be your friend, it is also important to remind yourself that you are different people. With that, don’t hold people to unrealistic standards, and try not to take things so personally.
Disappointment in yourself works similarly. When you hold yourself to a level of rigor that is often too difficult to maintain, you might find that you are disappointed in yourself. It is imperative to remember that you are human, that you make mistakes, and that failure is a part of life. Being disappointed in yourself can even serve as motivation to do better next time, rather than giving up altogether.
Finally, disappointment in a situation, whatever it may be, can resonate strongly with you. But remember, sometimes things don’t work out exactly the way we want them to, and in hindsight, it’s usually for the best.
Below I’ve listed some strategies I use to take care of myself when I feel disappointed:
Get outside. Fresh air and a change of scenery always reset my mind and give me a sense of peace and clarity that I didn’t have initially.
Eat something healthy. Oftentimes, when we are so caught up in how wrong something went or how sad we feel, we forget to fuel our bodies. Eating something healthy will give you the energy to think through the situation clearly and rationally.
Call a loved one. Even if you don’t feel like talking about the situation, sometimes just hearing a loved one’s voice can help you gain a little perspective.
Think it through, then react accordingly. I always like to wait before I respond to a situation that disappoints me, even if it might be difficult to do so. I’ve found that responding later allows me to calm down and rationalize the situation. Otherwise, I might react in a way that I would later regret.
Remind yourself that it’s probably not personal, and that you can’t expect other people to do what you might have done. This usually only applies to disappointment in others, but it’s important nonetheless!
Distract yourself. I could sit around all day feeling sorry for myself about the disappointment I just experienced, but that wouldn’t do anything to change the situation. Instead, be productive, stay busy, and go about your day as usual. With distractions, you might find that you actually forget about the situation for a while.
Keep these tips in mind next time you find yourself feeling disappointed and you might start to change your perspective. If these aren’t any help, find what works best for you, and then let me know so we can support each other!
