How to Spot an Unhealthy Relationship

Feb 24

Feb 24 How to Spot an Unhealthy Relationship

By: Isabella Scala

It’s February, and it seems like love is all around us, especially with Valentine’s day being just in the recent past. While some people may love this season, others may be struggling for a multitude of reasons, including heartbreak, loneliness, or feeling trapped in an unhealthy relationship. Below are several warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. If you are experiencing any of these concerns, I’ve listed several resources at the end of this article. Remember that you are loved, you are valued, and love should never hurt.

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship:

1. Feeling like your partner is “clingy”

While it is normal in a new relationship to be excited and happy about being involved with your new significant other, if you feel like your partner’s affection is too intense or like they are “obsessed” with you, it may be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Examples of this can include saying “I love you” very early into a new relationship, wanting to spend all their time with you, and feeling rushed or overwhelmed.

2. Jealousy

If your partner is constantly acting in a possessive way towards you, such as reading through your texts on your phone, accusing you of cheating, and “watching” you (stalking you doing regular activities), this is another sign of an unhealthy relationship. Your partner should respect your autonomy and privacy and should not be worried about the possibility of you being unfaithful.

3. Manipulation

Sometimes, in an unhealthy relationship, partners can control you by using kindness as a weapon. Even if you think that you are not “one of those people” who can be trapped by an unhealthy relationship, master manipulators can trap you before you even realize it. Ways that partners can manipulate include giving you surprise gifts, convincing you to do things you are not normally comfortable with, separating you from friends and family, and keeping your self esteem low so that it seems like you have nowhere to turn to but them. This manipulation can be very subtle and you might not even realize it is happening.

4. Insulting

Going off of the last warning sign, controlling partners will often want to control everything about the other person, and this includes their self esteem. What might start out as playful, harmless jokes can often turn into degradation, such as insulting your intelligence, your appearance, or who you hang out with. These attacks on your self worth can make you feel like you would be nothing without this person, but that is not true. You should not have to feel dependent on your partner, nor should they insult your worth.

5. Standards and Anger

The last two signs are two of the most important, and in most cases, they go hand in hand. When your partner has a different standard for how they treat you versus how you treat them, it is almost a sure sign of an unhealthy relationship. Examples of this can include not allowing you to go out, but going out constantly, different standards for the way you dress versus the way they dress, and requiring you to always be around if they need you, but them being MIA when you need them. Coupled with this lack of healthy standards is anger. If your partner is constantly angry, even if it is not necessarily at you, this can be an early sign of an unhealthy relationship. Sooner or later, that anger will be directed at you, for the most part unfairly, for simple things such as not being immediately accessible for your partner, being out with your friends, or for not following the ridiculous standards your partner has imposed upon you.

These are just some of the signs of an unhealthy relationship. There are many more warning signs, and if you believe that your partner is exhibiting any of these or any other warning signs, please consider leaving the relationship. This is obviously not easy, especially if your partner has made you feel like they are all you have, but I promise there is love out there for you. No one should have to go through an unhealthy relationship, and most of all, no one should have to go through it alone.