Fostering Healthy Relationships in College

By Annie Condodina

It’s no secret that coming to college is a learning curve for everyone. Many students arrive for move in day freshman year knowing no one and nothing. For those who may not consider themselves extroverts or particularly outgoing, this can cause crippling social anxiety and create a fear of reaching out to others.

When that anxiety is induced, people tend to grab the nearest person and hang on for dear life. And while this might fix a temporary problem, it’s certainly not a long-term solution. The importance of fostering healthy relationships in college cannot be overstated. Let’s break down what this means…

Finding people during your college career who share your morals, values, and interests is the only way to create honest and lasting friendships. It’s easy to see other students your age finding their groups and crowds early on and feel like you’re falling behind. You’re not. Take your time. It’s not a bad thing to be selective with who you bring into your life. There are certain signs and signals you can be on the lookout for to ensure that you are surrounding yourself with healthy relationships.

Take time to consider that building college friendships will likely look different than building high school friendships. You’re spending much more time with these people than you ever spent with your high school friends. Different issues can arise when you’re eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner with people, spending lazy weekends with them, and going out with them at night. If you’re surrounding yourself with the right people, you should be looking forward to spending that extra time with them, not dreading it.

If you find yourself feeling pressured or start engaging in behavior which isn’t typically characteristic of you, it may be time to reevaluate whether or not your relationships are healthy. This goes for both platonic and romantic relationships. 

Don’t let romantic relationships get in the way of your ability to make friends in other facets of your life. When you jump into a relationship early on in college, you might not give yourself the necessary means or time to be open to new friendships, organizations, and people in general.

There is also a stark difference between relationships that push you outside your comfort zone or encourage you to be a better person, and those that push you, period. You know yourself better than others do. In college, there are plenty of people who will lift you up instead of bringing you down. You just need to be brave enough to seek them out.