How to Love Your Independence

By Emma Sandora

Often, we have relationships (both platonic and non-platonic) that end no matter how hard we try to salvage them. At some point, someone may say the following: "I need to love myself before I love others." As much as no one wants to hear this, this statement is powerful for both parties involved. Many people struggle to put themselves first, and with our busy lives, it is difficult to teach ourselves how to begin doing so. However, it is impossible to enjoy life being uncomfortable in our independence. If independence is so necessary, how can we learn to love it?

This summer, I made myself my main focus. At first, I did little things. I started gratitude journaling, frequent walks, and making time to read before bed. Although these were small actions, they began to add up. In doing the things I enjoyed by myself and scheduling specific times to do so, I began to protect those times. I treasured the peace I felt in being on my own, and I was eventually very comfortable being alone. Not only was I comfortable, but I enjoyed it. If you are someone who struggles with feeling lonely, find activities that make you feel included in some way. For example, taking a walk in your neighborhood can help clear your mind, all while feeling connected to nature and your community. 

Being independent is not a switch you can turn on or off. It takes time to develop a relationship with yourself, just like it takes time to develop relationships with others. When you learn to make time to be with yourself, you further the unity your mind has with your soul. Dependency ultimately teaches bad habits, such as attaching our happiness to what other people do or say. When we can learn to love being independent, we can find happiness in ourselves, regardless of others' actions.

Unlike what some people believe, you can be independent and still sustain relationships. The most important thing to remember is to understand your needs and establish them early on. When you allow your relationship with yourself to flourish, you are able to create the most impactful relationships with others.

Establishing time for yourself, enjoying that time, and creating an independent routine will produce the best possible version of yourself. You will find you are more available in your everyday life. No matter how busy you get, never forget that you should always be your number one priority. The love for your independence will follow!