7 Ways to Become a Mentally Stronger Person
By Clara Farres Centeno
Mental strength is a practice, as opposed to a fixed trait that many believe it to be. Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You creates new notions regarding how mental strength is drawn. When we hear the term “mental strength,” Wiest says, we often assume that it involves maintaining emotional composure, as though we can navigate life with minimal disruption from external circumstances. However, authentic mental strength lies in the capacity to respond to the full spectrum of human emotions and experiences without becoming entrenched in any one of them. It is not contingent on the external events themselves, but rather our reactions to them. This insight reveals the role we play in shaping the course of our own lives. Though we may not have absolute control over the objective reality that surrounds us, we do possess the capacity to exercise control over our subjective reality. We are afforded considerable agency in determining how we interpret the moments we encounter, the challenges we confront, and the people we become because of them.
1. “Write down your problem, and it’s halfway solved”
Some may worry that thinking ahead will disconnect them from the present moment, or engulf them in worries about the future, but the opposite is true. Worrying is what disconnects us from the moment. Anxiety is what disconnects us from the moment. Overthinking is what disconnects us from the moment. What makes us able to be present is “implementing future strategy into [our] daily routine.” If a problem can be written down, clearly and deliberately, it is halfway solved. What you’ve done is outline the problem, and thus you’re better able to build a plan based on these elements. From there, you follow the plan until the problem is solved completely.
2. “Turn off your spotlight complex”
Rarely is anyone thinking about you the way you are thinking about yourself. Most people are just thinking of themselves. People do not evaluate you as harshly as you evaluate yourself. They are evaluating themselves, and, just like you, they’re often wondering if others are doing so as well. For the most part, the world will take you at face value, and in the grand scheme of things, most people are relatively indifferent to your actions or inactions as long as you’re not negatively impacting others. The less you’re preoccupied with receiving attention, the easier it becomes to ease your mind.
3.“Correct false-dichotomous thinking”
Persistent anxiety often arises from a tendency to engage in oversimplified “all-or-nothing” thinking. This cognitive distortion involves discarding a wide range of potential outcomes in favor of just one or two extreme possibilities. It may manifest as believing that losing your job signifies total failure and a hopeless job search, or the end of a relationship means you’ll never experience love again, or a painful event spells the end of your ability to carry on. These assumptions frequently lead to self-fulfilling prophecies. Typically, the most likely outcome is the one that is least emotionally charged.
4.“Learn how to organize your feelings”
It’s important to acknowledge that constant happiness is not a realistic expectation for anyone. Mental strength does not embody the ability to maintain a façade of positivity at all times, but rather the skill to handle and respond to emotions like sorrow, anger, sadness, anxiety, and fear in a constructive manner. Once we grasp that different situations call for different emotions, we can begin to adjust our outlook and self-expectations. In the words of Wiest, “Responsiveness over reactiveness defines mental strength.”
5.“Forget what happened and focus on how you’re going to make it right”
Essentially, reflect on what went wrong, learn from what went wrong, and brainstorm how you can learn from this in your future steps. It’s plausible that letting go of the past is hard, mostly because there is often some wisdom to be extracted from it, but our strong emotional attachment blinds us from this fact. Allowing your experiences to shape and guide you by finding lessons within them is how you can change your approach to everything.
6.“Remember that you do not need to have every answer right now”
I will admit, I am guilty of this. Personal growth doesn’t happen suddenly. It unfolds in small, gradual steps. It manifests in “tiny bursts” and through the adoption of minor changes. This is because as we grow, our comfort zones expand and reform slowly over time. It looks like adapting to a new way of living and remembering that attempting to introduce too much change too rapidly often results in a return to our previous familiar patterns. Rather than a breakthrough (the goal), focus on a micro-shift (the habits). Change small things you do each day, and once mastered, change more, then repeat. Letting the momentum build will allow your efforts to accumulate and one day you’ll look back only to realize you are standing far from where you began. All because you had the courage to take small steps, and the patience and trust in yourself to keep it consistent.
7.“Honor your discomfort, because it is trying to tell you something.”
Wiest says, “The greatest gift life will hand you is discomfort.” Many of us don’t realize it until after the fact. Discomfort is not a punishment, it is a signal that your brain sends through your body, communicating that you are capable of more, or deserving of better than what you are experiencing at this moment, in whatever context this may be. Take these implications and push yourself to find the experience that fits your goals and standards.
