Mental Health First Aid: Helping a Friend Through a Panic Attack
By Lindsay Gallagher
Panic attacks can look different to everyone that experiences them. Because of this, the way to help someone that experiences panic attacks can vary. People can experience panic attacks once and never again, but someone can also have recurring or regular panic attacks, which is known as panic disorder. Either way, knowing how to help someone through a panic attack is an important life skill, and you never know which loved ones in your life might need your support.
Some people cry or have very outwardly visible signs that they’re having a panic attack, but for others, the signs are more subtle. Less obvious warning signs of a panic attack are if someone gets quiet all of a sudden, appear frozen with fear or dread, ask to quickly leave a situation, are shaking or sweating, seem fidgety or restless, their breathing accelerates or changes, or they’re engaging in a repetitive or compulsive task (like washing their hands over and over).
When you notice some of these signs, ask your friend what you can help them with right now. If they don’t respond, ask a yes or no question like if they want a hug, if they want to go to a private/quieter place or for a walk. Above all else, stay with the person, and be patient. If they ask for privacy or space, you can take a step outside and check in with them again in a few minutes. Ask the person if they have medication that they are prescribed for panic attacks, and if they say yes, help them find it and get them some water so they can take it. Help the person slow their breathing and calm down their nervous system by breathing with them or slowly counting.
Use short sentences when speaking because sometimes a panic attack can affect your ability to focus. Say encouraging things like, “You can get through this,” “I am here for you and you are safe,” “I am proud of you,” “Concentrate on your breathing and stay in the present,” “I know this feeling is scary, but you are safe.” Phrases to stay away from include saying “What’s wrong?” (because panic attacks are not always prompted by a specific event so the person may not be able to pinpoint what is wrong) and ever using “I had a panic attack” as a joke (it’s discrediting and mean).
Once the panic attack is over, ask the person if they are working with a doctor or therapist to address their panic attacks -- if they aren’t yet, then encourage them and maybe help them make an appointment at the Counseling Center or with their primary care doctor. Encourage the person to take time to relax before they return to what they were doing before the panic attack; even just watching TV or scrolling through Instagram for a bit can calm their nerves and help them feel more normal.
Panic attacks can be a terrifying experience, but having a friend at your side to help you through it can mean the world.
Sources:
https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/mind/mental-health/what-say-and-not-say-someone-anxiety
