Addressing People by Name

By Kaitlin Costarene

Sometimes, the smallest actions we take can have the largest impact on someone. Sometimes, we don’t consider how we have the power to make another person’s day better, even if that’s through the tiniest gesture. Addressing someone, especially a person you don’t know, by name is such a kind gesture that takes a very minuscule amount of effort. I’ll begin with a recent story that reminded me of this.

I was checking out at the grocery store. The cashier was a girl with long curly hair, about my age, if not younger. She had a shy demeanor and a quiet way about her. She didn’t seem sad, but just as if she was going through the motions, trying to get by and counting down the minutes until her shift ended. When I approached the register and started unloading my items from my cart, I asked her how she was doing (as we all do in polite conversation). She replied, “Good.” She wasn’t rude or short with me, she just clearly didn’t have much to say. As she was scanning my items, I read her nametag and thanked her by name. She immediately looked up at me, and with a small smile, said, “You’re welcome. I love your sweatshirt. That’s one of my favorite brands.” As she finished scanning and bagging my items, I paid and thanked her, again by name. She smiled again and wished me a great rest of my day, something I hadn’t seen her say to the customer ahead of me in line to check out. 

Now, I don’t tell this story to sound boastful or overly thoughtful and polite. I tell this story to remind you all of how easy it is to make someone feel humanized, to make them feel special, and to put a smile on their face. And maybe it wasn’t my addressing her by name that made her smile, but this particular girl had a very clear change in demeanor and attitude when I spoke to her like she was a friend, a person with a name, a person that is appreciated. It seems like more often than not, most people don’t address cashiers, waiters/waitresses, or other employees by name, including myself. Usually, this just isn’t something we think to do. But it’s so simple and has the potential to make someone feel special and appreciated. I am actively working to make this a regular habit in my daily life, and as I have more and more, I’ve noticed that other people respond positively to it as well. 

I have to accredit my mom for instilling this practice within me, even though it is something that I am finally beginning to get a grasp on and still have to actively remind myself to do. My mom has always been kind to absolutely everyone. I’ve seen the way her actions affect others. I’ve seen the way people let down their walls and smile back at her. I’ve seen the way they do unnecessarily generous things for her or make accommodations for her, and I can’t help but chalk it up to her way of treating these people. If she was rude, standoffish, and entitled, people would not respond to her in the ways that they do. They appreciate her effort to make them feel special, even if it’s just by asking how they are doing or thanking them by name. 

With that, I encourage you all to try to implement this practice into your daily lives. You will very likely make another person’s day a little bit better.