Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
By Molly Carriero
Self-judgement—let’s be honest, we all do it. As college students, we are in such an amazing and exciting time in our lives, but it’s also an overwhelming, confusing, and vulnerable time. There is a lot of pressure to choose a major, get an internship, or decide what we want to do with the rest of our lives. It is easy to get down on ourselves when we feel that things aren’t going the way things “should” be going.
The concept of self-judgement has been on my mind a lot lately. For any Peloton lovers here, you may know Olivia Amato, a Peloton bike, Tread & strength instructor. I love Amato because of her amazing energy and her ability to encourage her listeners to step into their power and become the best version of themselves. In her series of workouts she calls “breakthrough runs,” Amato talks about breaking past negative thoughts and self-doubt. She literally makes her listeners acknowledge, confront, and address their own self-judgement in order to see their true potential.
Amato has really made me realize my own self-judgements, ones I did not even recognize I was making on a daily basis. I began to realize that when I was hard on myself, I thought I was motivating myself to do the right things. But instead, I was inhibiting myself from reaching my true potential. Curious and a little intrigued, I started to do some research into the psychology of self-judgement.
I found that self-judgment is one of the major causes of fear, anger, anxiety and depression. Some clinical psychologists have found that while some people believe it is actual life events causing their anxiety, it is often their own thoughts—their negative self-talk about their personal realities. (Please note that the type of anxiety mentioned here is completely separate from manifestations of anxiety disorders. If your anxiety goes beyond the self-judgment discussed here, please ask a medical professional for advice.)
So how do we escape the circle of doubt and self-judgment? We must first become aware of our feelings of fear, anxiety, anger, or doubt and ask ourselves what is giving us this feeling. What self-talk or self-judgment did we just tell ourselves that created this uncomfortable feeling? We must first acknowledge such feelings and figure out how we can confront the voices in our heads. Ask yourself, “Can I be 100% certain that what I am telling myself is true? Do I have real evidence to prove this?” Most likely, the truth will be much different than what you have been telling yourself. As Olivia Amato says, when you find yourself entering into negative thought patterns, count to five and envision a big red stop sign in front of you. At this moment, stop. Ground yourself and realize that judgmental thoughts do not define you and more likely than not, they are not actually true.
Learning to stop self-judgement will certainly take time and dedication. We must become aware of our self-doubts and learn to be kind toward ourselves first and foremost.
The next time your mind begins spinning into that whirl of self-doubt, count to five and see that red stop sign. Instead of saying, “Wow, that was so dumb of me,” rephrase your mindset. Try saying, “Wow, that was so human of me.” We are all human. Next time you are overthinking, see that red stop sign, notice your surroundings, and remember that you are trying your best.
Rephrase your thoughts, reframe your mind, and I promise, you will change your life.
