Grief Away from Home
By Lauren Jones
One of the most confusing and frustrating parts of the human experience is loss. At one point or another, we have all had to say goodbye to someone close to us. Dealing with this pain is hard enough on its own, but handling it while away from home can be all the more daunting. I could have never anticipated that within the span of fourteen months I would receive two heart-wrenching calls at college about the passing of people whom I deeply loved. Throughout this extremely difficult time, I discovered practices that helped me process the grief in a healthy manner.
Human beings each deal with grief in their own unique ways. For me, it is necessary that I take some extended time to myself. It may seem inefficient, but sometimes laying on your bed with only your thoughts for company can be quite healing. I usually put on some of my favorite songs on shuffle and let the initial shock wear off.
Once I have taken the time to personally process the unfathomable, I reach out to my best friends. Your friends are your family at college and if you are lucky like me, they will be by your side through every heavy step of the way. Words may not come for a while, but even sitting in silence with each other’s company is peaceful. Another thing friends are great for: hugs. Throughout this year I was reminded about the true healing power a hug holds. When I felt like I was falling apart on the inside my friends held me and put me back together.
Along your journey you may get angry and begin to question everything from life, to death, to the intentions of God. Welcome these thoughts instead of dismissing them. It is okay to ruminate in them for a little while, but not forever. Channel this passionate energy into something good, like writing about the person you lost or making a collage of photos of them. You can write about what they meant to you, your favorite memory with them, or a goodbye letter to them. Looking through photos may be difficult at first glance, but they will serve as invaluable momentos of the beautiful life your loved one lived.
It is always important to call your family. While you are struggling at school without them, they are missing your voice just as much at home. Be there for them and comfort each other. Also, when you need another little slice of home, call your high school friends. A familiar voice always puts me at ease.
Most importantly, let these moments of pain serve as your enlightenment as to what really matters in life: people. Those little seemingly significant worries throughout the day do not really matter in the grand scheme of things. The rest of your life will be shaped by who you surround yourself with at this moment, so put them first. Lastly, always say your “I love you’s” because life is too short to not tell people how much they mean to us while they are here.
