Embracing Imperfections
By Anne Standfest
In college, it’s extremely hard to make peace with your imperfections. Between social media and everyday interactions, it can be hard to feel your best. Maybe the people who you thought were your friends post a picture of a hangout you were not invited to – and all of the sudden you try to figure out what is wrong with you. Or maybe it’s the overwhelmed feeling you have when you know you gained the freshman 15, but you’re still sitting in the deep depths of your bed with a pint of ice cream. Or maybe you’re taking a test and you berate yourself because you’re an “overthinker” and cannot choose between answers A and B.
These are all normal feelings and you are not alone. But it is extremely important to have coping mechanisms in order to break out of these feelings and feel confident. Our internal thoughts and beliefs significantly influence our emotions and actions. So, our thought processes relate to our mental health. It’s important for young adults to hold our heads high and feel good about ourselves. It’s especially important to stop criticizing yourself for your perceived imperfections. Although it’s not always easy, I hope to present accessible and reasonable coping mechanisms for embracing your own imperfections, because everyone has them.
One way to try to change your attitude towards negative situations is to find the positive in them. Although some things seriously feel like there is nothing good to them, try to take a moment to find something positive, and then turn your focus on this. For example, if you are having a hard time accepting your “quirks” and differences, think about what positive things they bring. For example, if you struggle with being reserved and quiet, realize how, on the flip side, those traits make you an excellent listener or a great observer.
Personally, I struggle with my height. I’m almost 22 years old and only 5 foot tall. I am always the only one getting carded, I’m asked at the airport security line if I am 12 and under so I can keep my shoes on, and I’m the only one that always gets handed the kids menu. For years, I struggled to have confidence in myself, especially since I was receiving hurtful comments (like getting called “midget”) on a daily basis. My mom, who is also my height, has inspired me to adopt a positive outlook. She says that good things come in small packages and that we are “fun sized.” So when I receive negative comments about my height, I choose to remember my mom’s words instead of letting the comments affect my self-esteem.
Another way to embrace your imperfections is to remember that no human being is perfect. No one feels like they are flawless. Everyone has things about themselves that they don’t love, even if you can’t see that from the outside. So, you are not alone. When you begin to criticize yourself or feel insecure, remember that we are all human. Your imperfections make you different and unique. Embrace your differences and use them to your advantage to thrive in life.
I encourage you to own whatever you think your flaws are, learn to love them (or at the very least accept them) and turn them into something that can spread inspiration and self love. Reach out to people or friends struggling with the same acceptance in themselves and share your story and experiences. You’ll probably realize that everyone struggles with this issue of embracing imperfections, and no one sees you in the same critical way that you sometimes do. Talking with other people will allow you to spread love to others, you'll help yourself along the way. Love yourself - it’s incredibly powerful!
