Toxic Masculinity - Yes, Still a Problem

By Rachel Reardon

The phrase “toxic masculinity” is pretty mainstream nowadays. Most understand it as “guys being dudes,” exhibiting no emotions and displaying a façade to fit into the stereotype of the macho man. I think we are getting better at tackling the issue, but the problem is still far from being resolved. Let’s face it: society still dictates gender norms. And that sucks. I’ve had many classes here at Villanova in which we discuss different societal experiences caused by gender. In the case of the female and male genders, females are often seen as gentle, soft, and delicate while males are seen as strong, confident, and tough. I know, I know, these ideas are kind of old school. But you’re wrong if you think that they have stayed in the past. 

For example, as someone who does mock trial at Villanova and did it in high school as well, women are still often told to wear skirts instead of dress pants in the courtroom. Also, men can be assertive and demanding in making their arguments, whereas I, who identifies as a female, have to make sure my tone is not coming off too strong. That’s an issue that men do not have to consider. I’m not saying that guys do not have their own problems caused by societal gender norms or expectations. I am saying, however, that I think women are more negatively affected by gender bias than men. We have lived in a patriarchal society for centuries. I am a proud Catholic and American, but I still can recognize that it’s an issue that the head of the Church must always be male, and there has yet to be a female president (YAY for Kamala Harris breaking the glass ceiling as the first female Vice President). These issues are prevalent and real. 

So, I guess the question is, what does this have to do with toxic masculinity? A lot. There are still plenty of men who forward the idea that they have some godly claim of superiority over women. I see it all the time on social media. Men label girls who advocate for their rights as “crazy feminists” and pick apart women’s appearances, even when they are in professional roles. Guys do this all the time to Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio Cortes. Even if you don’t like her political opinions, defending Congressman Ted Yoho’s sexist language does nothing but show that you are insecure in your masculinity. Sorry, I’m not afraid to say it. I’m tired of women feeling like they have to be patient with men who do not show them that same respect. I will always encourage women to stand up to men who promote a toxic masculine narrative or do not show basic respect to women. There is no reason to support that kind of rhetoric, and there is no reason to be ashamed for not doing so. 

I call on all people to examine their behaviors to ensure that they are free from societal expectations. After all, we are who we are, and it is far better to embrace that than to submit to a system that is still inherently patriarchal. We should want more than that for ourselves. And remember—being a feminist is a good thing. Feminism = equality of the sexes. Please do not try to make it seem like it’s anything besides that.