Resetting Expectations and Cultivating the Good Life
By Molly Carriero
Not too long ago, I found myself constantly overwhelmed by my day-to-day life. I don’t mean by homework, grades, or extracurriculars really, but by something I like to call my self-expectations—the daily pressures I put on myself to be my ‘best self.’
Of course we all want to be our best in school, our jobs, and our personal lives. However, there came a point when I saw my high expectations affecting my mental health. By striving for perfection, I was increasingly out of touch with who I really was. I began to ask: am I walking the fine line between high standards and unrealistic expectations? Is my best self when I am striving to reach a standard of perfection, or is my best self when I am taking the time to celebrate my progress, milestones, and small victories?
That was the moment I pressed the reset button—I reset my expectations and I began to cultivate my real good life. I began practicing gratitude, savoring the moment, and refining my online feed.
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed with expectations, here are some simple practices that will allow you to cultivate self love and peace in your life.
Practice gratitude.
It seems simple, but practicing gratitude really goes a long way in manifesting a positive mindset. Each day, try practicing gratitude for the things you have accomplished. Reframe your “failures” as learning opportunities rather than sources of shame or regret. Rather than thinking about what you failed to get done in a day, remind yourself what you did get done. Did you spend quality time with friends, call a loved one, or eat a good meal? As college students, it can be easy to focus on moments of stress or disappointment, but we really have so much to be grateful for, and we can focus our mental energy on those things.
Savor the moment.
Enjoying the present moment helps you appreciate what you have and stops you from suffering from the stress caused by striving for unattainable perfection. Savoring the moments you spend with friends and loved ones allows you to form stronger connections and better quality relationships. The truth is that our lives are fleeting. Though it may sound cliche, you will never again have this moment in time. Being present and not stressing about future or past problems can help you feel calm and grounded.
Refine your feed.
In the age of social media, it’s easy to find ourselves making unrealistic comparisons with others online. If you find yourself doing this, it may be time to reset and refine. Ask yourself, do the posts I see make me feel better or worse? Am I comparing my life, my body, or my success to others? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to make some changes. Personally, I decided to mute and unfollow certain accounts. I then began to follow accounts that promote positivity, humor, and motivation. When scrolling through my feed, I no longer find myself in the inevitable game of comparison or doubt.
The pressure to feel perfect can not only be overwhelming, but it is incredibly unhealthy. Our imperfections are what make us human, vulnerable, authentic, and beautiful. Rather than striving for perfection, it is time for us all to let go of strong self expectations and begin cultivating self love and inner peace.
