The Importance of Being Alone

By: Maddy Sullivan

College is one of the most exciting, energizing, and memorable times of our lives. At the same time, college can be chaotic, draining, and stressful. It is important to recognize that school is both of these, and that taking the time to slow down and catch your breath is vital.

During the first few weeks of school my freshman year, I was running on the adrenaline high of a new place and new friends, rarely feeling tired and always feeling enthusiastic. However, when the crash came, it came hard. I realized I was worn out not just mentally and physically, but socially. College is the first time in many students’ lives when we are surrounded by friends, clubs, and activities 24/7. Being socially “on” all the time is exhausting. I quickly realized that I needed to spend some time alone to just breathe.

Setting aside time to be alone may seem counterintuitive to having a successful college experience, but it is an essential part of remaining sane and happy. Intentionally being alone without distractions allows you to collect your thoughts and organize them. If you are feeling conflicted about a social dilemma or overwhelmed by school, being alone can allow you to identify how you’re feeling and sort your thoughts. You may not have an epiphany, but having a conscious thought process can help you find solutions and perhaps gain the clarity you need to move forward with a definitive plan of action. Being away from all the noise for a little while lets you reflect on yourself and the people you are surrounding yourself with.

Additionally, it is easy to get caught up in your life here at Villanova, but being removed  can put your problems into perspective and help you realize that there is so much more going on in the world than just college. This is a comforting thought when it can feel like our entire lives revolve around the successes and failures we experience on campus. Reflecting and adjusting perspective is not meant to minimize what you are feeling, but can help you prioritize the things that matter most to you, without the influence of external opinions. Organizing your thoughts, gaining perspective, and setting priorities all help you recharge and get ready to enter back into the academic and social scene with a healthy and refreshed mindset.

The guidelines below will help you maximize your alone time and return to the busyness of life feeling rejuvenated and positive.

Living with roommates makes it even harder to find that vital alone time. You may have the best relationship possible with your roommate, but sharing a room means your dorm room is not the best place to find solitude. Villanova is a bustling community, but there are spots all over campus that are infrequently visited and make the perfect place for quiet reflection. Almost any bench on main campus once it gets dark is a good option, and choosing your favorite place to sit that you always return to is even better. A few perfect places to go, whether day or night, are:

• The picnic tables on the side of SAC

• The picnic table behind Connelly out the doors by Freshens

• The picnic table behind Driscoll

• The Corr Chapel

• Top of the West parking garage*

• Top of the Ithan parking garage*

• The Grotto on a quiet evening or early morning

• If you prefer moving around, a walk around the track by the West soccer fields at night

*When visiting the roof of either parking garage, do not sit, lie down, or lean on any railings. Public Safety has told reflecting students to stay away from the railings as a safety precaution.

Any place where you can be alone and allow yourself to refresh and feel at peace is the perfect place. Finding one spot and returning to it whenever you feel stressed will create consistency and let you know that there is always a place to feel safe and decompress. When choosing your reflection space, don’t bring schoolwork; clear your head without the physical presence of homework, a likely source of stress. Choose to unplug while you decompress; focus on how you are feeling right now, not what is going on in the groupchat.

Being by yourself will make the times you are social more meaningful, as you can appreciate your friends and not feel socially exhausted. College is a whirlwind of deadlines, caffeine, and constant social interaction. Choosing to be alone for a few minutes on a somewhat regular basis can give you the boost you need to function energetically and efficiently with your thoughts and priorities in order. If nothing else, take time to be thankful for this life and all its ups and downs.