Breaking the Backslide

By Marcelle Allen

Old habits truly do, die hard.

I first heard the term “backslide” on an episode of New Girl. In the episode, Jess and Nick were doing everything in their power not to backslide and start contacting their problematic ex’s again. While the episode was hilarious, as they all are, this concept of the backslide has probably struck all of us a little too close to home. Backsliding doesn’t always have to involve an ex boy/girlfriend, it could involve any person- or activity that we thought we were over, yet can’t escape (or aren’t willing to completely cut off).

With the new school year in full swing, we are again faced with people that are the opposite of good for our mental, physical, or emotional states. That’s right, inadvertently staying up all night wondering what you possibly could have done for him to ghost you is not good for your mental or physical health. While many of us got nice and comfortable with welcome distractions all summer, coming back to school can really smack us back to reality, and force us to confront the problematic people/activities we abandoned for the summer.

The fact of the matter is that it’s really about being treated the way we deserve to be treated. If you are constantly showering someone with unreciprocated love and attention, they probably don’t deserve it. We all have good memories of the past that we’ve had with someone, but looking at the past through rose-colored glasses does us no favors now, when we are clearly seeing how they are treating us.

Those yearly Snapchat memories really have a way of reminding you of the exact person you didn’t need to be reminded of, but sometimes the past needs to be left in the past. I believe that people can change if they actively make a conscious decision to, but actions always speak louder than words.

If someone is treating you anything less than you deserve, you truly owe it to yourself to move on. Giving the same person countless chances to prove to you that they are the idea you have of what they could be is preventing you from living the fullest life possible. We all deserve to be loved and appreciated in return, and it can be so hard to break the cycle of being treated less than so.

While backsliding could be the beginning of something better if you both have had time to grow into better versions of yourselves, you owe it to yourself to do so cautiously. Let them show you who they are first, because none of us have the time to waste on someone who is just never going to become the person we may want them to be.